Mr Laura Laura.

O.M.G.

2009-07-25T12:34:00.002+01:00

I'm well excited for tonight!!
We picked my birthday cake up this morning, it's GORGEOUS.
Lara is on her way, just need to go to Asda and get some new bras them i'm all good to come home and get ready!!
Kayleigh wont curl my hair for me though :(. She's so mean.

sooo fricken pissed.

2009-07-12T20:40:00.002+01:00

Why is it that my best friend neglects to tell me things about her life which I consider to be rather important? I mean, I tell my friends pretty much everything, but she can't share anything good with me? I never get to find out when she goes on holiday, when she has a boyfriend, when she's going to a concert... they are all things that you'd tell your friends, right? You'd probably even tell random people on social networking sites too, so why not tell the person who is supposed to be your best friend? Am I overreacting??

PS; 2 weeks til my birthday

=[

2009-06-26T16:55:00.002+01:00

Today sucks quite a lot.

It's Lewis's funeral today. I don't quite know what's "right" to say about a funeral, but I hope everyone is ok.

I wanted to make an effort with my dad today. I'd planned to meet him at the shopping centre so I could get him a Father's Day present seeing as I had no money when it was actually Father's Day. Well, he complained because he asked for something I couldn't afford. Then he picked a CD set thing that he wanted, I bought it and he asked for the reciept. So he's blatantly going to copy the CDs, then take it back for a refund. As soon as i'd given them to him, he said "Right, I'm off home, see you later". Nice.

I always say i'm never going to do anything for him again because of things like this, but I still do because I feel I should. Because I'm not a bad person and I'm not a bad daughter. But times like this make me wish I didn't bother. I know he'll be straight on the phone to his "girlfriend" telling her all he got was a set of CDs for Father's Day. Nothing I do will ever be good enough and the sooner I realise that, the better.

Me and Kayleigh took Bethany to softplay this afternoon. She met a friend and they followed eachother around. The little girl was adorable, telling us her mum was the one "over there wearing a green top, she's a little bit different" haha. It was so cute. Bethany pulled a boys t-shirt and the little girl told her if she said sorry Bethany might even be able to go to her house, if her mammy lets her.

My mum was taken into hospital last night too. Nobody thought to tell me though. I only found out today because my nanna was mad about it. She'd stayed up til 3am this morning waiting to find out how she was but nobody rang her so she went to bed. Then she found out this morning that my mum is at work today, yet her husband is in bed with a migrane.

My clothes that I ordered for my birthday nights out came today. I'm pretty gutted that they all look disgusting. The one I was most looking forward to makes me boobs look enormous. Which they're not. It doesn't look right at all. And the others just look dreadful. Totally makes the fact that i've lost 5lbs in a week seem pointless. Mehhh.

Smartie

2009-06-25T11:18:00.002+01:00

Bethany is so cute.
She used to sing "Scream" by Tokio Hotel but change the words to "Smartie" lol. Now she sings it properly.

Today she's been dancing round the kitchen to "I Like To Move It" and "The Bird Is The Word".

Happy Birthday To Me?

2009-06-22T20:55:00.005+01:00

It's my 21st birthday next month and I really want to do something nice, but I can't think of anything!

My first choice was Disneyland Paris, but that's not possible, so I'm at a loss.

My birthday is on a Sunday, which is a pretty shit day to have a birthday. So, I was thinking...why not just have a birthday weekend? That's way cooler.

I want to have a campfire on the beach this summer (I still don't know if that's legal??) so I could do that on the Friday night, take some drinks down to the beach and stuff :) I think that'd be nice. Saturday would be a night out, obviously...Whitley Bay. As for Sunday, would probably be a meal with the family, but I don't know anywhere nice?

Having said that, it's all terribly grown up? I want this though!

Happy Fathers Day.

2009-06-21T10:46:00.006+01:00

!!bad photo alert!!

So yeah. I text my dad this morning to say "Happy Father's Day" and all I got back was "thanks". He's just being arsey because I said he'd have to wait until next week for a present because i'm broke. To be fair, at least I'm bothering to get him something?
I wont mention the fact that for the last 2 years, my sister, my neice and I didn't get so much as a card for our birthday/Christmas. Bethany didn't even get one for her FIRST birthday. And we only see him when he wants something, so he's not winning any "Dad-of-the-year awards".

It's especially upsetting because I know today is hard for Andrew who lost his dad on Friday. My thoughts go out to Katherine, Chris, Nicola and Andrew.
xox

Everything is not what it seems

2009-06-20T22:18:00.001+01:00

I totally want to be Selena Gomez. Just for a day.

Operation Beautiful.

2009-06-19T16:47:00.004+01:00

A friend on Twitter.com sent me the link for a site called Gives Me Hope.

Some of the stories on there are so inspirational and I really feel strongly about people leaving lovely Post-It notes with phrases like "You're beautiful!" and "You're perfect the way you are" on mirrors or in changing rooms for other people to find... I really believe that a simple gesture like that could make a stranger's day. Sometimes you really need to hear those words and a compliment goes a long way. Even from one stranger to another. Don't underestimate yourself or the power of your words.

Operation Beautiful
"Operation Beautiful is simple: all you need is a pen and a piece of paper. "

If you decide to take part, don't forget to show me your photos :)

and for the pessimist in us all; FML

OMGYAY.

2009-06-19T15:07:00.002+01:00

I finally got my Enhanced Disclosure this morning!!
Just waiting on my registration certificate which should be ready on Monday or Tuesday, then I can start getting me some moneys!!!
I can't bloody wait!

...

2009-06-17T21:22:00.001+01:00

RIP Lewis.

:(

2009-06-16T23:32:00.005+01:00

I really want a labrador puppy for my birthday.
There's some for sale near me, black ones <3.
I want a boy one so I can call him Jackson. No reason for the name, I just like it for a dog.

But i'm not allowed one :(
Living with my sister was meant to be cool!
*hopes she reads this and feels guilty for not letting me have one, then gives in!*

Grr.

2009-06-15T17:31:00.003+01:00

Ofsted suck.

I sent my forms for my CRB Enhanced Disclosure thing on the 15th May, yet they say they didn't get them until the 27th May. Considering it takes UP TO 9 weeks for them to complete the check, send my info back to Ofsted and get a certificate sent to me, 2 weeks makes all the difference.

Going by their dates, I wont be registered until the end of July, meaning I wont get paid until the end of July. I've been doing this since January, unpaid. Not cool.

Boom Boom Pow!

2009-06-14T16:01:00.005+01:00

Today has been pretty awesome :)

This morning, me and Bethany made Oreo milkshakes <3. I'm going to make Jaffa cake milkshakes later! Then, Sarah and Bethany had dippy egg - made by me - and we made fairy cakes for our picnic. I made egg sandwiches and we got ready to go out. We just went to the field across the road but we were out for like, 2 and a half hours. We ate our food and played football and me and Sarah just talked...it was nice :)

The sun made my freckles come out again! Not cool!

I'm not sure what to do now... I want to make jaffa cake milkshakes, read my new book, edit my photos and nap, all at the same time!

Photos from today; they go from last to first though, grr!

Oh, no, I do not hook up, I fall deep.

2009-06-13T14:56:00.004+01:00

Today is just one of those days where i'm genuinely happy.
I don't have them often, so I'm enjoying it!

I woke up early, did a few loads of washing, hung it out on the line...me and my sister tidied the living room and I tard danced around the kitchen to "I Do Not Hook Up" and "Hoedown Throwdown". It was fun!

This afternoon we've watched Bedtime Stories, which, for the record, is amazing!! Apparently it got really bad reviews, but we never stopped laughing! Andrew laughing at the Guinea Pig's eyes kept us entertained too haha. I love Adam Sandler. We're watching Taken now, thank god for LoveFilm!

Tonight i'm making my gorgeous spicy rice and Andrew will be making fajitas. LOL. Reminds me of Ross from F.R.I.E.N.D.S. <3. My sister wants garlic bread too so I made my own garlic butter, nomnomnom. Then we're going to watch History Boys. I haven't seen it for ages! I love James Corden and Russell Tovey!! I need more Jaffa Cakes though! You won't believe how many of them me, Andrew and Bethany have gone through since Wednesday!! Addicted much?!

I need to get some money off my mam and go to the post office before it closes, I don't think i'll have time though! This film has only just started...I think the photo entry will have to wait until tomorrow :)

WOW.

2009-06-13T09:57:00.006+01:00

I haven't updated this for a while...
I totally forgot my log in, oops!

The sad thing is, I don't actually have anything new to update...

I'm living with my sister now, permenantly. We desperately need to move though. There's 5 of us sharing a 2 bedroom house, which doesn't really work but we're making do until we can find somewhere bigger! I really like being here. I mean, anything beats home, but I actually feel like part of the family here. It's nice knowing i'll see my neice every day (even if she does tell me to get away or go home when she's being cranky! lol) and it's also nice to know that my boredom-induced cooking and cleaning is appreciated lol.

The only downside of living here is that I've started taking the dogs out for walks and so every time I put my shoes or jacket on now, they attack me, thinking i'm taking them out. They're big dogs aswell! lol.

I'm still waiting for my childminding registration to come through so I can start looking after kids! I was told it could take up to 9 weeks and i've been waiting 4, so not long left now :) Then I can start getting some proper money! Lord knows I need it.

I was on a bit of a downer last week because I had plans to see Katy Perry and one of my best friends, Lara, was coming to visit because we were going to see her friend Nikk in "Here Come The Boys". All 3 shows got cancelled, as did Lara's visit, so I was pretty bummed. Katy is rescheduled til 25th/26th August though and Lara is visiting in July instead, so all is well :)

I've been making some kick-ass plans for summer, are you ready?;
* Move House
* Pass my driving test
* Have an awesome 21st
* Go camping - my sister's idea
* Have a bonfire on the beach (anyone know if this is illegal??)
* Go to a theme park - my sister's idea
* Have a BBQ - another of my sister's ideas
* Have a picnic with Bethany and Lara (& I want to get some of those huge bubbles to play with!)
* Spend a day at the Metrocentre (go to the cinema/shopping/lunch)
* Make summer scrapbooks

I think it'll be pretty good!

I'm totally obsessed with Tokio Hotel too! You should check them out :) Also, THUKST and the message board. I'm on a roll here, even if you don't like them, go vote for them HERE and get down to your local H&M to buy one of the FAA (Fashion Against Aids) T-Shirts they designed! I doubt there'll be many left though ;)

I'll update again later with loads of photos :)
xo

How cute is my neice?!

2009-04-05T13:31:00.001+01:00

Very!

He'll never save her now...

2009-03-31T19:46:00.005+01:00

Today has been pretty good :)
Maybe even better than yesterday?

I had a proper night's sleep...1am-8.30am. We went swimming from 12-1.30pm, then we went to the chip shop and bought some lunch. We went to the coast and sat in the carpark to eat, then we drove down to Whitley Bay to visit the whitehouse the lighthouse. I've never been down there before, it's so beautiful! We went to the shops on the way home so I could take my money out of the bank for the next few days and I went home to get my stuff...it's difficult to pack when you're at someone elses house...I bet i've forgotten so much. Yes i'm only going overnight but there's lots to consider! lol.

My sister and brother in law have gone to look at another house, so me and Kayleigh are looking after Bethany. She's asleep at the moment. I'm watching the end of Enchanted <3 then we're going to put face packs on and watch a dvd. I want to shower too so I can snuggle up in my pjs, then we're having chinese for tea <333333. I'm pretty hungry so i'm really looking forward to it! Chinese is my favourite anyway!

I'm going to download lots of songs tonight so I can make some supercool mix cds for the road trip <3. The last lot I made didn't work in the car cos I burned them as data discs instead of music cds. Retard much.

I reallllllllllllllllllllllllllly want to get my lip pierced while i'm in London!! I think we're going to see my Nanna's neice and her husband is a tattoo artist, so hopefully he'll do a new tattoo for me, but if not, I really want my lip pierced. I wanted snakebites but I don't think I could afford that.

Tell me something I don't know

2009-03-19T16:35:00.006Z

I'm poorly :(
Sympathy please.

All I want to do is go to sleep lol. I can't do that though...would be very irresponsible seeing as I'm looking after Bethany.

Just thought I would add some photos..

For some reason I feel really hungry. I'm not sure why because it hurts to eat anything? Hmm.

I've been asked to make a chocolate cake tomorrow. I made a gorgeous one a while ago but can't actually remember how I made the icing... I think it was just a ganache with a butter cream filling but I couldn't be sure. Oh well. I think I might make a Victoria Sponge too.

Oh & I'm totally obsessed with "Don't Forget" - Demi Lovato, "Last Forever" - Mitchel Musso, "Honey" - The Hush Sound, One Tree Hill, a certain leopard print handbag and 2 pairs of stunning shoes at the moment..

"Peeing is definately supposed to be free"

2009-03-10T17:10:00.003Z

The sun woke me up at 6.30am, which sucks. Though it was nice to see the sun shining...it made me think about summer. I always hated summer, but i'm coming round to it.

GOOD THINGS ABOUT SUMMER:
* Oversized sunglasses (classy though, not the rediculous colours/shapes that you can get)
* Pretty clothes!
* Wedge heels. A summer must!
* Slush puppies!
* All the best songs are summer tunes.
* Spending the day at the beach, just because its sunny.
* People are generally happier...
* It stays light until like, 11pm, meaning you can sit in the garden and have a laugh for longer.
* Summer holidays - I get company when people aren't at school!
* My birthday.
* You can eat fruit salad for breakfast! Beats the tits off lumpy porridge.
* Sunkissed tans.

BAD THINGS ABOUT SUMMER:
* Not being able to wear nice clothes. Hello bingo wings...no I didn't forget you were there.
* Feeling like you might actually melt because it's that hot.
* Wasps/Bees
* Flies etc getting in the house because you have to leave the windows open
* Kids...EVERYWHERE. Adults like Summer too, you know??
* When birthdays suck.
* Sunburn. Sadface.

Summer is full of win.
This summer, I want to enjoy my birthday, learn to drive and learn to play guitar :).
I plan to lose weight before then though so I can actually wear pretty clothes.

When it all falls down, i'll still be right here

2009-02-27T14:01:00.004Z

It's cold!!
I'm watching videos of Ashley Greene and Jackson Rathbone on youtube. I love them, they should have lots of babies. srsly. His real name is Monroe Jackson Rathbone IV haha.
"You will not call that boy Paul!"

So yeah. I'm sitting with my hair in these roller things because I wanted to curl my hair tomorrow and I think it might be too short, so I'm doing a test run haha. Me and my sister are going to Whitley bay for a meal, then for drinks, so i'm digging out all my make up to give that a test run too. I haven't decided what i'm going to wear yet so I can't really decide on my make up either. I want something new to wear but can't really afford it.

I went to Boots today to get a new foundation, it's the new Revlon one.. they were sold out but I tried the tester and it's amazing. It comes out of the tube white but when you rub it in to your skin it matches your skin tone, which is perfect because I can never get one that looks right.

I saw a dead mouse today. It wasn't very nice. It was just lying on its back looking all dead and stuff... I was thinking, if a cat did it, why didn't it just eat the mouse? I feel sick again now.

Today is so boring! I had a meeting this morning with Yourlink and I start my first aid course on Monday. I'm bricking it, tbh. It's only Monday & Wednesday though so it shouldn't be too bad...I hope. I saw my dad at the shops and asked him to wait for me because I was going to be late for my meeting..he kept ringing me while I was in the meeting, then text me to tell me he'd gone home. Thanks dad! My mum is being quite a bitch lately too! After that I just had a wonder round the mall...I posted lots of letters, bought myself a pretty pink bra and some blusher..ooh and I weighed myself. I lost another 1lb. That's 29lbs altogether :D. I seriously don't know where it's going from? My chins are shrinking slightly and the bones in my neck/chest are becoming more prodominent but that's about it. My boobs haven't started shrinking yet, thank god!

I had a filling the other day. HATE. I don't like the dentist at the best of times, but he didn't tell me he was going to give me a filling. So I had to walk round with half of my face numbed! It didn't wear off for 6 hours! I have to have another 2 next time i'm there which I really don't want. Meh.

So now i'm doing all of my washing, replying to emails, listening to the mix cd Chelle made me <3 and then i'm going to fanny about with my make up :)

Toodles xo

Mama

2009-02-24T09:13:00.004Z

Congratulations to "Sporty Spice" Mel C and her boyfriend, Thomas Starr.
Scarlett Starr was born at 4.10pm on Sunday weighing 8lbs 3oz.

A message on her website said: "Melanie C gave birth to a beautiful little girl at 4.10pm on Sunday February 22. Both mum and baby are doing well."

This nights a perfect shade of dark blue, dark blue.

2009-02-22T17:04:00.002Z

I burnt my hand :(
Well, actually, I burnt across the back of my fingers. It hurt.

I've been baking today. Me and Sarah made a corned beef and potato pie and a cheese and onion quiche. Then I made cheese and onion pasties, chorizo and bean pasties, 24 fairy cakes and I have meringues in the oven :)

No photos though, I can't be arsed to take any.

I'm going to proper knuckle down and "revise" for my theory test. Sooner I get it over and done with the better. Then I pass my bloody test!

Hey mom, there's something in the back room

2009-02-13T16:02:00.005Z

Argh I have cold feet! lol.
My socks are in the dryer because the snow invaded my boots.

Me, Bethany and Kayleigh went to the park today to build a snowman. Bethany was quite happy building snowcastles with her bucket and spade, so me and Kayleigh got cracking with the snowman. He was well sexy.

We started having a snowball fight and some random kids decided to join in. It's a good job they were little or I wouldn't have played haha. I'm such a bad loser. Kayleigh was catching my snowballs and throwing them back to me! I fail.

We had to come home after that though because Jade came along to ruin things.

I was going to bake shortbread and fairy cakes but there's no gas ...which doesn't help the cold feet situation. I should go to the shop and get some more but meh.

I'm leaving my fingerprints on you.

2009-02-12T19:21:00.004Z

WE HAS SNOW!
Not always a good thing.
I fell over 3 times today and I only went to the shops and back!

It was quite funny though, I was walking home with Bethany, Kayleigh and Jade and they were throwing snowballs at eachother. So I made the hugest snowball ever and pretended to throw it at Jade, then threw it at Kayleigh instead and tried to run away before she could get me back. Yeah, I ended up lying face down in the snow laughing my head off and couldn't get up for laughing. Jade fell over and was sitting in the snow laughing and Kayleigh was in creases...even some kids who had passed us were laughing. But then Bethany shouted at us and told us to stop it so we had to get up lol.

So, now I have a sore wrist and sore knees (from landing on them the other 2 times I fell over!).
I've also managed to cut my hand open today...not so good. The snow better stick around, tomorrow i'm making snowmen...FUCK YEAH! I want to take proper photos too, I only have ones from my phone today...

I'm that chord on your guitar..

2009-02-08T17:14:00.005Z

I've been well busy today!

Me, my sister and Bethany went shopping this morning. Nothing exciting, just a bog standard food shop. Though I did buy some ingredients to make cupcakes. My recipe let me down, the frosting is shit. It's supposed to be proper frosting, like they have in America, but it just looks like melted chocolate...If anyone has a good frosting recipe, send me it please :)

I made about 48 cakes though lol. They're really yummy. The chocolate ones are quite rich but I haven't tried the vanilla ones yet, i'll probably end up being sick if I eat anything else hah. My sister wanted to make pie and quiche too, so I had to make pastry. I'm covered in flour.

I got a tattoo yesterday. The first bit of it hurt quite a bit haha, the rest was fine though. Today it just feels like a bruise but it's cool. I love it, it looks really pretty. I can't decide which one to get next...i've narrowed it down to two lol.

:)

2009-02-08T17:11:00.002Z

If I don't cry, Do you think I don't feel?
If I look away, it doesn't mean I don't see,
And just because I want someone when I'm alone,
Doesn't mean I'm helpless,
That I can't stand on my own.

How far can we go before we break?
How long can I wait?

How strong do you think I am?
How much can I take of this?
Am I a rock, or a rose, or a fist?
Or the breath at the end of a kiss?
How deep do you want to go, because I'll go there if I can,
You make it harder than it has to be,
How strong how strong, how strong do you think I am?

It's so hard to tell,
What's in your heart,
What you keep to yourself,
Is tearing me apart,
And should I be afraid,
To dream about you?
And if you feel the same,
Whatcha you going to do?

How far can we go before we break?
How long can I wait?

How strong do you think I am?
How much can I take of this?
Am I a rock, or a rose, or a fist?Or the breath at the end of a kiss?
How deep do you want to go, because I'll go there if I can,
You make it harder than it has to be,
How strong how strong, how strong do you think I am?

If I move in any closer,
If you let go and give yourself away,
and if we let this happen to us,
Everything will change.

How strong do you think I am?
How much can I take of this?
Am I a rock, or a rose, or a fist?
Or the breath at the end of a kiss?
How deep do you want to go, because I'll go there if I can,
You make it harder than it has to be,
How strong how strong, how strong,
How strong do you think I am?
How much can I take of this?
Am I a rock, or a rose, or a fist?
Or the breath at the end of a kiss?
How deep do you want to go, because I'll go there if I can,
You make it harder than it has to be,
How strong how strong, how strong,
How strong, how strong, do you think I am?

BRING ON THE TRUMPETS!

2009-02-01T22:57:00.002Z

I'm enjoying being Superman tonight :)

Sunday Dinner

2009-02-01T15:38:00.004Z

Why does something ALWAYS go wrong? lol.
I thought everything would be awesome, I prepared everything before I started so nothing would be forgotten..then the chicken decides to take FOREVER to cook. So now everything is ready but the chicken. Grr. My roast parsnips taste gorgeous though :) They're cooking with the chicken and the juices mixed with a little bit of butter and seasoning from the chicken..nomnomnom.

I'm in an alright mood today, which is good cos it seems like i'm never happy inside anymore..
I bought a Superman T-shirt, it's awesome! I'm going to wear it for bed tonight.
Does anyone know who is on Sunday Night Project?

Hmm!

2009-01-26T23:27:00.003Z

I don't really have anything to write about, i just want to write cos I feel like i'm in quite a good mood :)

Today has been really lazy. I made something really nice for dinner though. Chicken breast fillet with rice, mixed peppers and roasted cherry tomatoes. nomnomnom!

I finished reading Twilight and i'm now ready to start New Moon! I was planning on having an early night and starting it but that didn't happen so it'll have to wait until tomorrow now. I have to be up at 7am which is going to kill me lol.

I'm going to take Bethany to the shops on the bus tomorrow, we're going to do breakfast with my nanna. Then i think we'll go to softplay. I quite wanted to take her swimming but I prefer Blyth pool for that.

I want my hairdresser to come back!! I desperately need a haircut!! I also need my glasses fixed.. anyone wanna sub me £40? It's rediculous. £40 to fix a scratched lense. My glasses didn't even cost that much!

Me and my sister are going to see about getting our tattoos on Wednesday night. I think we're just going to talk to the people at the shop about what we want and if they can do it, how much it'll cost etc. I've decided on 7 different tattoos i want. But i can't decide on the last one... Pick for me :)

Tattoos

2009-01-25T22:12:00.003Z

So, I have two already but I really want some more!!
I want one that says "Only God Can Judge Me" down the side of my arm, a rose or something on the back of my neck with an N on one side and an S on the other (my nanna and grandad's initials) and I want a J tattooed on me somewhere but i'm not sure where yet.

I bet I don't get them for yeeears. :(.

I was on bmezine.com and someone has a Twilight tattoo. I'm beyond jealous.
Nearly finished the book now! Can't wait to read the others.

Is anyone watching Sunday Night Project?
I fucking love Snow Patrol. Not as much as Justin (<3) or Alan though.
There's something about an Irish accent...very smooth.
xo

Twilight.

2009-01-24T23:58:00.003Z

So, i'm like totally obsessed.
I want an Edward Cullen. Actually, no, I want the Edward Cullen.
He's amazing.

I started reading the book on Friday and i'm almost finished it now.
I've watched the movie twice but I still want to see it at the Cinema. Someone needs to come with me to see it!

Hah, it's quite sad that I have nothing else to write about...
Tomorrow i'm baking :) Chocolate cupcakes and corned beef pie. nomnomnom.
xo

Get paid for doing surveys!

2009-01-20T20:37:00.002Z

http://account.pureprofile.com/Login/?referrer=3114375

It takes aaaages to fill in your profile thing but once you've done it and start getting emails it's worth it :)
& You can transfer your "earnings" to your bank account once you have earned £25.
Rewards for surveys range from £0.10 to £5.00

:)

2009-01-18T14:49:00.005Z

Today me, my sister and Bethany went shopping.

We went to Au Naturale to look for new house things because i'm impatient and need things like, yesterday. Au Naturale got shit though. I got two red candle holders, which are like a cracked glass effect.. they're really pretty. I got some black tea light candles too. I really wanted some red glittery ones. They were just red tealights with a glittery star outline on the top, really pretty. After carrying all the way around the shop..twice, I decided to get the black ones and the red candle holders :)

They had some gorgeous cushions that go with the sofa/sofabed thing I want for my living room too. Half price <3. But I didn't get them because it'd be silly to get them already..

I'm quite excited to move :)
xo

[EDIT]
I forgot, I also bought these to go on the landing :)
I need the one of the boy holding the "love" stone too.

I don't care.

2009-01-15T12:11:00.002Z

Hard days made me
Hard nights shaped me
I don't know they somehow saved me
And I know I'm making something out of this life they call nothing
I take what I want
Take what I need
They say it's wrong, but it's right for me
I won't look down
Won't say I'm sorry
I know that only God can judge me

And if I make it through today,
Will tomorrow be the same?
Am I just running in place?
And if I stumble and I fall
Should I get up and carry on?
Will it all just be the same?

Cause I'm young and I'm hopeless
'm lost and I know this
I'm going nowhere fast that's what they say
I'm troublesome
I've fallen
I'm angry at my father
It's me against this world and I don't care
I don't care

And no one in this industry
Understands the life I lead
When I sing about my past
It's not a gimmick, not an act
These critics and these trust fund kids
Try to tell me what punk is
But when I see them on the street they got nothing to say

And if I make it through today,
Will tomorrow be the same?
Am I just running in place?
And if I stumble and I fall
Should I get up and carry on?
Will it all just be the same?

Cause I'm young and I'm hopeless
I'm lost and I know this
I'm going nowhere fast that's what they say
I'm troublesome
I've fallen
I'm angry at my father
It's me against this world and I don't care
I don't care
I don't care...
And now I don't care

I'm young and I'm hopeless
I'm lost and I know this
I'm going nowhere fast that's what they say
That I'm troublesome
I've fallen
I'm angry at my father
It's me against this world and I don't care
I don't care.
I don't care.
I don't care.

Things & Stuff.

2009-01-13T21:51:00.003Z

So yeah, pretty much everything in my life is SO SO shit at the moment, but I made the most amazing Victoria Sponge Cake tonight so all is well with the world..even if I am fit to burst!
Check it out;

My doggie wanted to join us for dinner;

I wish.

2009-01-06T15:59:00.002Z

Sometimes I wish people didn't have lives... So mine wouldn't seem so pathetic & so someone might actually want to spend their time with me, making my life have a little bit more meaning to it.

I wish I wasn't messed up and I wish I didn't have the problems I do.

But most of all, I wish I could be stronger and a better person so that the people I care about would actually have a reason to care about me.

Happy New Year?

2009-01-01T10:40:00.003Z

So, how did everyone's NYE celebrations go?
I really wish I hadn't bothered...
But hello 2009, may you be better than 2008 and bring everybody happiness :)
xo

Katy Perry

2008-12-31T13:05:00.002Z

Katy Perry is fit.
&& Has the best boobs in the world.
That is all.
xo

Do you know what it is yet?...

2008-12-28T16:26:00.004Z

I've finished being contemplative now and decided to upload some photos from my phone...

Meet my Elephant :)

My Neice, Bethany.
She looks like a fishwife lol.

Things about poo make me laugh.

Therapy

2008-12-28T16:19:00.001Z

You walk then I’ll walk and I will follow you there
I’m hanging out your pockets and braiding your hair
You talk then I’ll talk but speak to me in tongues
Speak to me in words that mean the same in English as I love you
Speak to me in languages so that they cannot understand

So lets sit down and talk about it and share a cigarette
Wear our fears like a jacket full of overdue tears
This aint therapy or fun
Its just conversation

Don’t lie then I wont, I know its hard
But try and talk about the devils residing in your heart
You go then I’ll go
And I will revel in this symbiotic relationship
Speak to me in words that mean the same in English as I love you
Speak to me please in Japanese so that they cannot understand

So lets sit down and talk about it and share a cigarette
Wear our fears like a jacket full of overdue tears
This aint therapy or fun
Its just conversation

Opening up normally gets me into trouble
Opening up tends to get me deeper into trouble
Opening up when you know that you’ve mucked up
And even tho your not to blame you just cant find the words that you need to explain

So lets sit down and talk about it and share a cigarette
Wear our fears like a jacket full of overdue tears
This aint therapy or fun
Its just conversation

Issues.

2008-12-28T16:17:00.000Z

Me and my heart we got issues,
Don’t know if I should hate you or miss you,
Damn, I wish that I could resist you,
Can't decide if I should leave you or kiss you.
Me and my heart we got issues, issues, issues.
We got issues, issues, issues.

A Little Bit Longer...

2008-12-28T16:09:00.003Z

But you don't know what you got 'til it's gone
And you don't know what it's like to feel so low
And everytime you smile, you laugh, you glow
You don't even know, know, know.
You don't even know.

Happy Boxing Day!

2008-12-26T18:19:00.002Z

So, did everyone have a nice Christmas?

Mine wasn't the best, but what can you do? It's only one day out of the whole year...
And I know my sister and brother in law put a lot of effort into making it a good day, it's just a shame some people had to ruin it :)

I got some really nice presents though! I got a Nintendo DS Lite & accessories pack, Vera Wang - Princess (which smells amazing and comes in the cutest bottle!!), CSI: Dark Motives for the DS (which is fucking solid, i'm never going to be able to do it!), leopard print slippers, leopard print dressing gown, leopard print earrings and necklace, Cecilia Ahern - "The Gift", a recordable freeview (which is up and running now thanks to some frustration from my mother hah), a Belle (from Beauty & The Beast) teddy to go with my Beast that I got for my birthday, a phone sock and dangle thing, bed socks, tigger socks, a book, a cake book (yum!), a student cookbook, 4 dvds, a spiderpig teddy, a Fernando Torres flag =D, a comic, smellies (with the most amazing body scrub!!), perfumes, a leopard print clutch bag and purse, a snowglobe and a gorgeous pillow. Lots of Christmassy goodness!!

I'm glad it's over now though. I think i'm going to be a grinch next year, it seems to work so well for everyone else? I think i'm the only person in my family who gets excited about Christmas now and the day itself just ends up being a disappointment. I hope that doesn't make me sound ungrateful because I'm very grateful for the presents, but Christmas day is so overrated.

I'm already making plans for next Boxing Day that don't involve anything Christmassy :)
It wasn't the same this year... Usually my auntie and uncle bring their 2 kids over and we have chicken, chips and beans for dinner and watch whatever shitty movie bbc one have decided to play. This year it was just my auntie and my cousin, Sophie, and they didn't stay long. I think as everyone is growing up we're all growing apart.

I've started making a list of resolutions for next year too. I can't wait. 2009 is the year of change.
xo

It's Christmas!

2008-12-25T16:47:00.001Z

Merry Christmas. I hope everyone had a lovely day and got lots of nice presents! I cant wait to get home and play with mine.

Enjoy the rest of your christmas.

Peace xo.

IT'S CHRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISTMAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSS...eve.

2008-12-24T19:41:00.005Z

Today has been a little bit pants.
I thought it was getting better this afternoon but, no.

Me, Bethany and Kayleigh made mince pies and chocolate chip cookies earlier...we're going to leave some out for Santa tonight and we're having milk and cookies before bed :)

We watched Polar Express this afternoon which was nice, it felt really Christmassy. Then we went to my house to pick up all my presents for people and my clothes and stuff. It's wierd knowing that i'm not going to wake up in my own house on Christmas day...

I spoke to my bestest bitch on the phone tonight and she's just as excited about Christmas as I am. I just hope it doesn't suck as much as I think it will...

How cute is this?;

I hope everyone has a lovely Christmas and an even better New Year :)
xo

3 Sleeps 'Til Christmas!!

2008-12-22T21:20:00.004Z

YAY!
Only 3 sleeps to go!

Today has been quite good :)
I met up with an old friend from school - Grace - and we went to a cafe to chat, then our other friend - Claire, and her boyfriend - came to join us. It was really nice to see them again. I was really nervous about it because I don't think i've seen Grace in about 7 years? And the last time I saw Claire I was very drunk and probably made a complete arse of myself...the fact that I remember going back to my sisters house and throwing up down the side of the bed not long after seeing her makes me think I definately did something embarrassing.

I think I realised how much of a loser I am hah. I can't drive, I don't have a job, I don't have any proper friends who live local...just Lizzy who I see maybe twice a year? So yeah, I have like, nothing going for me. (Y).

I went shopping for a few bits and pieces after that which was a complete nightmare. Every shop was packed. But I made it home eventually and spent the afternoon baking with my mum. We made about 160 chocolate chip shortbread biscuits! We put them in little cellophane bags and tied them with green ribbon, then attatched the Christmas tags I made (ALL BY MYSELF!!). I made chocolate truffles too which were quite successful...nothing like my many previous attempts! I put some in cellophane bags to give as little presents and the rest I put in petit four cake cases (those little ones...) and put in a box in the fridge for my auntie and uncle to scoff when they come over on Boxing Day :)

On Christmas Eve i'm going to make cookies and mince pies with my neice :) It'll be nice cos she'll be able to leave one out with some milk for Santa and the magic hay for Rudolph! (What happened to just giving him carrots??) I hope she'll be as excited as I am though.

And now i'm very jealous about something which is making things very awkward. Go me!

Peace.
xo

Simon Pegg

2008-12-18T16:47:00.004Z

Simon Pegg?
Is he that one from Blue??

Dick.

International Answer the phone like Buddy the Elf day!

2008-12-17T17:49:00.003Z

Tomorrow is International Answer The Phone Like Buddy The Elf Day. So, answer the phone like Buddy the Elf, pick up the ringing phone and say, "Buddy the Elf, what's your favorite color?"

Enjoy!
xo

P.S. The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear.

The farm.

2008-12-17T17:01:00.004Z

Today I went to the farm with my neice and my brother in law :)

We took my neice to see Santa but she was scared of him haha. I don't blame her, he was quite scary! We went into his "grotto" and wrote him a letter. Then we went to the petting barn and some goats tried to eat us lol. One of them tried to get the bag of food I bought to feed them with out of my pocket! They were cute though.. We seen some lizards and gekos...and a tarantula. sadface. They even had skunks! They also had chicks, rabbits, mice, rats, guinea pigs, birds and turkeys! There were two ickle pigs in a pen too!! I was excited thinking that i'd be allowed to hold them...seeing as they were in the "petting barn" but no, the evil elf bitch wouldn't let me. sadface. Instead, I sat next to them for about half an hour feeding them and letting them bite me...i'm nice like that. They were just so CUTE!

They had loads of stuff that they didn't have when we visited in the summer...They had cows, horses, sheep, reindeer and quite a few llamas. We saw some wallabies too! Some of the gorgeous piggies from the pig stable had gone missing though :(.

That's my hand!!

So after someone ripping the arse of their jeans, someone falling over a lot of times in the mud and a horse trying to chew my jumper we decided to go home. We'd been there for 2 hours though so no one was complaining...apart from me and Bethany.

OOH! & I took THE best photo of a llama that i'm going to make into an icanhascheezburger.com picture!
I actually took that photo!!

Tonight i'm going for coffee with Lizzy. Starbuckspls.

Geraldine McQueen

2008-12-14T20:23:00.003Z

Geraldine AKA Peter Kay is donating her royalties from the sale of Once Upon a Christmas Song to the NSPCC.*
Help children this Christmas by making her song Christmas number one!

Only £1.99 from HMV!

* The producers have waived their royalties in respect of the sales of the single and Polydor and Peter Kay will pay their net profits from the sales of this single to NSPCC registered charity numbers 216401 and SCO37717. Polydor will make a minimum guaranteed payment of 30p per CD/DVD single sold and 10p per download.

?!??!?!?!?!?????!!!?!?!?!??!?

2008-12-14T16:44:00.001Z

WHO THE HELL VOTED FOR ALEXANDRA?!?!?
We already have one Leona, we don't need another one!
><.
Angryface.

X Factor Finale!

2008-12-13T20:40:00.002Z

VOTE JLS OR YOUR BALLS ARE MINE!!!!!!!

"Let's go to the garden centre on our bikes! ...We're such losers."

2008-12-12T16:59:00.004Z

Yesterday I went for lunch with my friend Lizzy :) It was quite fun!

We parked the car and some old man was threatening a young man with his chopper if he didn't get a parking sticker thing. Then we went to a charity shop where we saw a Fun Song Factory video. It had a song on it called "Ye Cannae Shove Yer Granny". We went to Wetherspoons for lunch...There was a Christmas party, with guest appearances from Santa and Hitler! A man was Ho-Ho-Ho'ing instead of laughing.. and the lady sitting opposite us had a full grown tash. Definately one to be proud of.

Is 'mince and dumplings' a northern meal??

After we'd filled our tummies with Wetherspoons goodness we went to Lizzy's house to watch Russell Howard's DVD. He is welllll funny. And now I keep saying "We're such losers" with a lisp and a Bristol accent...which i'm rather good at. I can also say "Cornetto?" (Hot Fuzz) and "Nuvver packet pork scratchins..." (Little Britain). Lizzy opened her presents early because she's naughty and has the will power of...something with very little will power. I took mine home and put them under my little tree though! :)

Then, when I was watching Ratatoullie, the postman rudely interrupted me. He brought me presents from my bitch though, so obviously he was forgiven :) they went under my little tree too.

I got the COOLEST Christmas card from Jodi too. It's a Spice Girls one. Be jealous!

Today i've been looking after my neice and it's been SO nice just the two of us...no little deamon any more =D we've been colouring in and watching Peppa Pig.

The Cheryl Cole Factor

2008-12-12T16:56:00.001Z

Did anyone see "The Cheryl Cole Factor" on Channel 5 the other day?
It featured Nikk Mager who you should all check out =]
http://www.myspace.com/nikkmagerofficial

=)

2008-12-12T16:52:00.002Z

I don't need to be told twice =]

2008 Gets An Extra Second?

2008-12-10T07:55:00.001Z

With a brutal economic slowdown, 2008 may feel as if it will never end.

Now the world's timekeepers are making it even longer by adding a leap second to the last day of the year.

Along with the economy, the Earth itself is slowing down, requiring timekeepers to add an extra second to their atomic clocks to keep in sync with Earth's slightly slowing rotation. So an extra second will be tacked on to December 31 just before 0000GMT.
That extra second will make 2008 - already long with an extra day on February 29 - the longest year since 1992.

The decision to add an extra second was made by an international consortium of timekeepers, whose American arm announced the extension.

World commerce and digital technology depend on accurate to-the-second timekeeping, said Geoff Chester, spokesman for the US Naval Observatory in Washington, responsible for one-third of the world's atomic clocks.

Most mobile phone providers and computer operating systems check with the world's atomic clocks and update their time to add the leap second automatically, he said.

The world started adding leap seconds in 1972, sometimes twice a year.
This is first leap second since December 31, 2005. This is the fourth year to have a leap day and a leap second.

My name is Mr Laura...

2008-12-07T10:09:00.001Z

& i'm addicted to Tetris.
True story.

PLEEEEEEEEASE

2008-12-06T19:04:00.002Z

Vote for JLS tonight =D
If they get the boot so Diana or Eoghan get a place in the semi-final I will SCREAM.
In your face.
Very loudly.

20 days and counting...

2008-12-05T22:48:00.004Z

So, it's only 20 days til Christmas =D

I feel like a normal person again! A little bit anyway... I feel like I have actual friends because people are making plans to see me, wether it's for coffee or a spot of shopping, it'll be the first time i've seen any of my friends since...August I think?!

Christmas is my favourite time of year and my family still look at me as a kid because of how excited I get on Christmas morning. Bearing in mind im 20 now and I live with my mum, her husband and my nanna.. I still wake up at 6am on Christmas Day because I can't sleep any longer and i'm too excited haha. Nobody else wakes up until 10am though so I have to wait FOUR whole hours before i'm allowed to open presents!

This year is going to be different though, i'll be at my sister's house for Christmas and we'll all be awake early (I still think i'll be first though! I'll be prodding Bethany telling her to go and wake her mum and dad up so we can go and see if Santa has been yet haha).

I bought my sister, brother in law, neice and cousin a special present each to open on Christmas Eve too. My sister always wants to open her presents early... Her birthday starts two weeks before her ACTUAL birthday!! But she knows what her present is so i'll have to find something else for her.

I can't wait for New Year. It sounds silly, but making resolutions or thinking of things I want to change in my life just seems so much more possible with the start of a New Year? I might post a list of my "resolutions" in the New Year :)

Peace xo

I'm in love...

2008-12-05T22:45:00.002Z

With this man;

& would quite like his babies.
Not the ones he had with his wife though..
New ones.
With me.
& Him.

O' Christmas Tree, O' Christmas Tree...

2008-12-02T17:49:00.005Z

How lovely are your branches!

My Christmas Tree..
(Check out my Spice Girl's calendar!)

This decoration is in memory of my Grandad..

And this is just a pretty red snowman :)

It seems everyone has a tree decoration apart from me!
My grandad, my sister and my neice all have one...

Happy December!

2008-12-01T12:48:00.004Z

Yay! Today is the 1st of December!
I have my advent calendar ready, i've just been out to get a new Christmas tree (which isn't smaller - I WIN!), I dug out all the old decorations (we have some special ones that HAVE to go on the tree every year) and my tree & decorations for my bedroom. I bought a few more Christmas presents to wrap, got my Christmas cd ready to listen to while I decorate the tree, Muppets Christmas Carol (£5 at Asda - yay!) ready to watch and Mincemeat Swirls (they're like mince pies but not) ready to bake.
I love Christmas.

I went for a walk through the village today and took some photos of the church and stuff so I might post them later :)

"Please Sir, Can We Have A Greggs?"

2008-11-30T20:33:00.009Z

I love going to see the Christmas display in Fenwicks window in Newcaslte but it's REALLY annoying when you try to take a photo and all you can see is the "Greggs" or "Burger King" reflection. This years display is Oliver! and I really don't think there was a Greggs opposite the boy's home taunting them when all they got was gruel! Still, i think my photographs turned out alright considering...

Eoghan Quigg

2008-11-30T10:54:00.003Z

I think Eoghan has been taking tips from a certain episode of Friends...

"The One Where Chandler Can't Smile..."

I Love Cross Dressing Kris <3.

2008-11-30T02:07:00.005Z

HATEHATEHATE.

2008-11-25T22:00:00.004Z

I HATE her at the best of times, but Leona Lewis has REALLLLLLLLY excelled herself this time.

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=ezNr265HD8k

WHY?!

It makes my eyes and ears bleed.
She ruined a perfectly amazing song.
Thanks.

Christmas...

2008-11-25T21:26:00.004Z

I go on about Christmas a LOT but it really is my favourite :)
Today i've been shopping and bought my presents that I didn't really need to buy, wrapped presents that my mum has bought (including my own which kinda sucks..) and indulged in a cup of tea and a sweet mince pie :)

This time next week the (new, smaller) Christmas tree will be up (deorated with the new, pretty decorations), my christmas cards will be posted and the whole house will have that fake "everything-will-be-ok-because-its-nearly-christmas" feel.

Tomorrow i'm going to my sister's house to see the "spooky man". I think his professional term is a "Medium", but whatever. Should be good :)

I'm feeling really lonely at the moment and there's nothing on TV so I think it's an early night with a book.
Comments to cheer me up?
Thanks.

My Favourite Thing About Christmas...

2008-11-23T22:46:00.003Z

I have a new favourite thing every day, but today, my favourite thing about Christmas is having a sweet mince pie and a cup of tea :)

Bringing The LOLZ

2008-11-23T22:04:00.000Z

Christmas

2008-11-23T21:50:00.003Z

I spent this weekend making an advent calendar for my neice.
I like the sentiment behind a "material" calendar rather than the usual chocolate ones and the fact that it's home made just makes it a little bit more special. I hope she likes it...
To be fair, she's 2 years old and it'll be full of chocolate so she'll probably LOVE it but I hope in a few years when she can understand the sentiment behind it that she'll appreciate it.

I have chocolate coins to go in pockets 1-17, then chocolate christmas bars to go in pockets 18-24 followed by a big chocolate Santa to go in number 25 :)

Niiiiiiice.

2008-11-22T19:42:00.004Z

nomnomnom.

Come Back Fern!

2008-11-20T14:17:00.005Z

Over at Heatworld.com they think something fishy is going on with Fern. Personally, I lovelovelove Fern and considering she's just completed a charity cycle race, I think she should be entitled to a break! 3 weeks to spend with her husband and children is not a lot to ask and they have that Ruth (yak!) to cover for her?
On the other hand...just incase something IS going on...

COME BACK SOON FERN!
WE LOVE YOU!

P.S. Get back on Ready Steady Cook!

Bringing The LOLZ

2008-11-20T11:44:00.000Z

LOLOLOL.

Bringing The LOLZ

2008-11-19T13:55:00.003Z

Miss Naked Beauty.

2008-11-18T20:17:00.004Z

What a pile of shit?

I love Gok Wan, but I think he's a bit of a twat for doing this.

So what if a lot of narrow minded people don't think it's acceptable to put a "fatty" on the front of a magazine cover? Being a fatty myself, I don't understand the NEED to be accepted by society?
If people don't wish to accept me, that's their perogative? And if i feel the need to change to "fit in" and be more socially acceptable, I will? I'm dieting at the moment, but for nobody but myself.

Who gets to decide who is socially acceptable? Who gets to decide what body shape looks good and what doesn't?

If people are happy, leave them be...

Damaged.

2008-11-16T16:35:00.007Z

I'm a total geek for books and this weekend i've been reading one called "Damaged" by Cathy Glass.

It's been passed around the family a bit and i think it was in the box of stuff we planned on taking to the car boot sale at one point, but it made it's way to my sister's bathroom and me, my sister, my brother in law...and anyone else who graces the bathroom with their presence has been reading it. I'm only about half way through but it's really shocking.

Abuse is an awful thing to read, hear about or experience and child abuse is hard for any person to comprehend... With all the stories about Baby P circulating at the moment its difficult to understand how anyone could do such things to another human, let alone one so innocent and fragile...worse still, how could Social Services let it happen under their noses?!

I think this re-inforces what I want to be "when i grow up". A foster carer.

I'd probably cope better with toddlers or older children...not babies, but its something I wanted to do when I was younger. I just passed it off as "one of those things"... afterall, i've wanted to be an air hostess, a teacher...anything else my sister wanted to be, but if I could fast forward the next 20 years of my life, i'd be a foster carer in a heart beat.

Scary Shit!

2008-11-15T21:41:00.003Z

Being in a car that decides to display THIS;

is some seriously scary shit!

Bringing The LOLZ

2008-11-15T19:47:00.002Z

Good Morning Baltimore!

2008-11-15T14:43:00.002Z

This is why i love Christmas..

2008-11-14T20:19:00.003Z

Christmas trees with pretty lights!

Kayleigh likes Eclairs.

2008-11-14T16:32:00.007Z

This is Kayleigh..

She likes Cadbury's chocolate eclairs, Pudsey bear and watching Peppa Pig allllllllll night.
She also likes little Spanish boys who say "ELEPHANTÉ!"

Bringing The LOLZ

2008-11-14T10:52:00.003Z

Happy 60th Birthday
Prince Charles!

Do Something Different

2008-11-13T23:02:00.006Z

So, tomorrow is Children In Need...
I don't know about you but i lovelovelove watching all the entertainment on BBC.
It kicks off tomorrow at 7pm, so don't miss it.

If you want to do your bit for Children In Need, click here for fundraising ideas, it's never too late!
Or simply click here to donate, it's so easy and it means SO much.

Peace xo

WOW.

2008-11-13T17:26:00.005Z

I've just got back from the doctor where I saw THIS;

Words cannot describe the excitement.
I'm sure you can feel my disappointment when "Melanie Brown" turned out to be a scrawny white girl and not "Scary Spice" Mel B as my heart hoped and my head imagined.
Sad faces all round :(.

When i grow up...

2008-11-13T14:33:00.006Z

People always say you should be happy with what you've got... Well, like most people, i'm not. After much consideration... i think if i could look like anyone it'd probably be Selena Gomez. I wont compliment her too much as i think she's still a "minor" but she's a veryyyyy pretty girl! I'm very jealous of her hair and she has a gorgeous face!

So, who do you want to look like?

But more importantly...why?
Comments please! & Don't forget to add photos :)
Peace xo

*Photos were taken from Selena's Myspace http://www.myspace.com/selenagomez