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Today sucks quite a lot.

It's Lewis's funeral today. I don't quite know what's "right" to say about a funeral, but I hope everyone is ok.

I wanted to make an effort with my dad today. I'd planned to meet him at the shopping centre so I could get him a Father's Day present seeing as I had no money when it was actually Father's Day. Well, he complained because he asked for something I couldn't afford. Then he picked a CD set thing that he wanted, I bought it and he asked for the reciept. So he's blatantly going to copy the CDs, then take it back for a refund. As soon as i'd given them to him, he said "Right, I'm off home, see you later". Nice.

I always say i'm never going to do anything for him again because of things like this, but I still do because I feel I should. Because I'm not a bad person and I'm not a bad daughter. But times like this make me wish I didn't bother. I know he'll be straight on the phone to his "girlfriend" telling her all he got was a set of CDs for Father's Day. Nothing I do will ever be good enough and the sooner I realise that, the better.

Me and Kayleigh took Bethany to softplay this afternoon. She met a friend and they followed eachother around. The little girl was adorable, telling us her mum was the one "over there wearing a green top, she's a little bit different" haha. It was so cute. Bethany pulled a boys t-shirt and the little girl told her if she said sorry Bethany might even be able to go to her house, if her mammy lets her.

My mum was taken into hospital last night too. Nobody thought to tell me though. I only found out today because my nanna was mad about it. She'd stayed up til 3am this morning waiting to find out how she was but nobody rang her so she went to bed. Then she found out this morning that my mum is at work today, yet her husband is in bed with a migrane.

My clothes that I ordered for my birthday nights out came today. I'm pretty gutted that they all look disgusting. The one I was most looking forward to makes me boobs look enormous. Which they're not. It doesn't look right at all. And the others just look dreadful. Totally makes the fact that i've lost 5lbs in a week seem pointless. Mehhh.

Smartie

Bethany is so cute.
She used to sing "Scream" by Tokio Hotel but change the words to "Smartie" lol. Now she sings it properly.

Today she's been dancing round the kitchen to "I Like To Move It" and "The Bird Is The Word".

Happy Birthday To Me?

It's my 21st birthday next month and I really want to do something nice, but I can't think of anything!

My first choice was Disneyland Paris, but that's not possible, so I'm at a loss.

My birthday is on a Sunday, which is a pretty shit day to have a birthday. So, I was thinking...why not just have a birthday weekend? That's way cooler.

I want to have a campfire on the beach this summer (I still don't know if that's legal??) so I could do that on the Friday night, take some drinks down to the beach and stuff :) I think that'd be nice. Saturday would be a night out, obviously...Whitley Bay. As for Sunday, would probably be a meal with the family, but I don't know anywhere nice?

Having said that, it's all terribly grown up? I want this though!

Happy Fathers Day.

!!bad photo alert!!

So yeah. I text my dad this morning to say "Happy Father's Day" and all I got back was "thanks". He's just being arsey because I said he'd have to wait until next week for a present because i'm broke. To be fair, at least I'm bothering to get him something?
I wont mention the fact that for the last 2 years, my sister, my neice and I didn't get so much as a card for our birthday/Christmas. Bethany didn't even get one for her FIRST birthday. And we only see him when he wants something, so he's not winning any "Dad-of-the-year awards".

It's especially upsetting because I know today is hard for Andrew who lost his dad on Friday. My thoughts go out to Katherine, Chris, Nicola and Andrew.
xox

Everything is not what it seems

I totally want to be Selena Gomez. Just for a day.

Operation Beautiful.

A friend on Twitter.com sent me the link for a site called Gives Me Hope.

Some of the stories on there are so inspirational and I really feel strongly about people leaving lovely Post-It notes with phrases like "You're beautiful!" and "You're perfect the way you are" on mirrors or in changing rooms for other people to find... I really believe that a simple gesture like that could make a stranger's day. Sometimes you really need to hear those words and a compliment goes a long way. Even from one stranger to another. Don't underestimate yourself or the power of your words.

Operation Beautiful
"Operation Beautiful is simple: all you need is a pen and a piece of paper. "

If you decide to take part, don't forget to show me your photos :)

and for the pessimist in us all; FML

OMGYAY.

I finally got my Enhanced Disclosure this morning!!
Just waiting on my registration certificate which should be ready on Monday or Tuesday, then I can start getting me some moneys!!!
I can't bloody wait!

...

RIP Lewis.

:(

I really want a labrador puppy for my birthday.
There's some for sale near me, black ones <3.
I want a boy one so I can call him Jackson. No reason for the name, I just like it for a dog.

But i'm not allowed one :(
Living with my sister was meant to be cool!
*hopes she reads this and feels guilty for not letting me have one, then gives in!*

Grr.

Ofsted suck.

I sent my forms for my CRB Enhanced Disclosure thing on the 15th May, yet they say they didn't get them until the 27th May. Considering it takes UP TO 9 weeks for them to complete the check, send my info back to Ofsted and get a certificate sent to me, 2 weeks makes all the difference.

Going by their dates, I wont be registered until the end of July, meaning I wont get paid until the end of July. I've been doing this since January, unpaid. Not cool.

Boom Boom Pow!

Today has been pretty awesome :)

This morning, me and Bethany made Oreo milkshakes <3. I'm going to make Jaffa cake milkshakes later! Then, Sarah and Bethany had dippy egg - made by me - and we made fairy cakes for our picnic. I made egg sandwiches and we got ready to go out. We just went to the field across the road but we were out for like, 2 and a half hours. We ate our food and played football and me and Sarah just talked...it was nice :)

The sun made my freckles come out again! Not cool!

I'm not sure what to do now... I want to make jaffa cake milkshakes, read my new book, edit my photos and nap, all at the same time!

Photos from today; they go from last to first though, grr!

Oh, no, I do not hook up, I fall deep.

Today is just one of those days where i'm genuinely happy.
I don't have them often, so I'm enjoying it!

I woke up early, did a few loads of washing, hung it out on the line...me and my sister tidied the living room and I tard danced around the kitchen to "I Do Not Hook Up" and "Hoedown Throwdown". It was fun!

This afternoon we've watched Bedtime Stories, which, for the record, is amazing!! Apparently it got really bad reviews, but we never stopped laughing! Andrew laughing at the Guinea Pig's eyes kept us entertained too haha. I love Adam Sandler. We're watching Taken now, thank god for LoveFilm!

Tonight i'm making my gorgeous spicy rice and Andrew will be making fajitas. LOL. Reminds me of Ross from F.R.I.E.N.D.S. <3. My sister wants garlic bread too so I made my own garlic butter, nomnomnom. Then we're going to watch History Boys. I haven't seen it for ages! I love James Corden and Russell Tovey!! I need more Jaffa Cakes though! You won't believe how many of them me, Andrew and Bethany have gone through since Wednesday!! Addicted much?!

I need to get some money off my mam and go to the post office before it closes, I don't think i'll have time though! This film has only just started...I think the photo entry will have to wait until tomorrow :)

WOW.

I haven't updated this for a while...
I totally forgot my log in, oops!

The sad thing is, I don't actually have anything new to update...

I'm living with my sister now, permenantly. We desperately need to move though. There's 5 of us sharing a 2 bedroom house, which doesn't really work but we're making do until we can find somewhere bigger! I really like being here. I mean, anything beats home, but I actually feel like part of the family here. It's nice knowing i'll see my neice every day (even if she does tell me to get away or go home when she's being cranky! lol) and it's also nice to know that my boredom-induced cooking and cleaning is appreciated lol.

The only downside of living here is that I've started taking the dogs out for walks and so every time I put my shoes or jacket on now, they attack me, thinking i'm taking them out. They're big dogs aswell! lol.

I'm still waiting for my childminding registration to come through so I can start looking after kids! I was told it could take up to 9 weeks and i've been waiting 4, so not long left now :) Then I can start getting some proper money! Lord knows I need it.

I was on a bit of a downer last week because I had plans to see Katy Perry and one of my best friends, Lara, was coming to visit because we were going to see her friend Nikk in "Here Come The Boys". All 3 shows got cancelled, as did Lara's visit, so I was pretty bummed. Katy is rescheduled til 25th/26th August though and Lara is visiting in July instead, so all is well :)

I've been making some kick-ass plans for summer, are you ready?;
* Move House
* Pass my driving test
* Have an awesome 21st
* Go camping - my sister's idea
* Have a bonfire on the beach (anyone know if this is illegal??)
* Go to a theme park - my sister's idea
* Have a BBQ - another of my sister's ideas
* Have a picnic with Bethany and Lara (& I want to get some of those huge bubbles to play with!)
* Spend a day at the Metrocentre (go to the cinema/shopping/lunch)
* Make summer scrapbooks

I think it'll be pretty good!

I'm totally obsessed with Tokio Hotel too! You should check them out :) Also, THUKST and the message board. I'm on a roll here, even if you don't like them, go vote for them HERE and get down to your local H&M to buy one of the FAA (Fashion Against Aids) T-Shirts they designed! I doubt there'll be many left though ;)

I'll update again later with loads of photos :)
xo